Bovine Brilliance Begets Befuddling Breakouts

A while ago I wrote about recent attention being given to the consciousness of man’s best friend. A Smithsonian cover story entitled “The New Science of Canine Cognition” being just the latest of a string of books and articles on the subject of the undiscovered brainpower of our favorite animal.

Cavalcades of cat fanciers may hiss, yes, but the old saw is true: Dogs have owners, Cats have staff. Cats think we are idiots and are happy to take our warm beds, favorite chairs and goodies, heck, they’ll even catch a mouse or two just to toss us a lame reason to keep them around, sunning themselves in our windows. Dogs are always happy to see us, whether we be gone a day or a two-minute walk to the mailbox. Good boy!

Now, it seems, a burgeoning bovine brigade has broached a new champion to broaden the brouhaha. According to Liz Sauchelli, staff writer for the Valley News in West Lebanon, NH, a savant Angus heifer in Hartland, Vermont was captured on security video leading a breakout of forty-two of her cattle kin by deftly disconnecting the two lines of electrified fence keeping them enclosed. In twenty seconds. And not by dumb luck or brute force, but by skillful slobbering sleight-of-mouth. And…we are out! She did this not once, mind you, but several times until her clueless human handlers caught her doing it on video. And…lets go to the film!

OK girls…let’s MOOO-VE!

Wylie Wood, who was working the farm that day—I am NOT kidding, his name really is Wylie. Named after the Acme-crazed coyote of Road Runner fame, I am certain. “As soon as we walked a couple steps away, she would unhitch it again,” said Wood. “The rest of the gate will shock her. She found out somehow that if she grabbed onto that part it would not shock her.” Every time Wylie herded them back in and reconnected it. Every time she unhooked it again as he turned to walk away. Cow humor? I am certain of it.

Move over, Rover. Bessie’s on the mooo-ve.

Richard Authier Lee is the author of the technothriller “HIGH GROUND” and a retired nonprofit executive. His novel is available on in paperback or eBook and as an audiobook on and iTunes Audiobooks (in iTunes: Audiobooks/Mysteries and Thrillers/Richard Authier Lee-see below).

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